Feeling Sorry For Myself.

I know everyone goes through it, but does that understanding make life any better for that person who is currently feeling forelorn? NO, IT DOESN’T! But, I digress. As far as MFA land is concerned, I am currently in a holding pattern. I am still dead set on my target and applications for Fall of 2010 are mid February of 2010, there’s just not a whole lot I can do yet to forge ahead. I’m waiting for new inspiration to strike because while my professor says that what I have is fine, I’m not entirely ok with “fine.” I want amazing! I want DAMN that f’ing rocks! Not mamby pamby just ok!!!!!

I’ve just felt so wishy washy, she does an alright job my whole life. So, now is the time for damn we CANNOT let this girl leave here without rocking our world. (Picture the angels in the heaven’s singing the Hallelujah chorus all while heavy metal rock guitars play a mean power chord 🙂 – got it?)

I recently discovered a call for designers at Cran and Co. stationary and I’m gonna go for it. So far only one example I’m submitting feels like I’ve struck on something, but the others feel like I’m just spewing out ideas like so much vomit. However, I’m just going to submit the whole kit and kaboodle. Why not? After the submission date : August 1st, I will post some images here for your enjoyment. By “your” enjoyment of course I mean the crickets out there. lol

Ok, back to my amazingly lovely, so non-degrading and fabulous work life. I love you all! Life has got to get better from here.

Who Am I?

This is the question now that I must ask myself in order to proceed with my plans. After my meeting today, I needn’t worry so much about the work I’ve already gathered, I will focus on tweaking and making changes on all that later. First and foremost is what will be in my letter of intent. I must talk about what I wish to accomplish with entering the program and what my goals, influences, etc are. Matt and I discussed art and things of that nature and I’m already stumbling on a few ideas.

My first thought was the typical challenging of “rules & standards” of design and sort of bucking the traditional system. Well Andrew, the professor, indicated to me that that is a rather over used and obvious idea. Now I’m verging on the idea of what makes something art, is it simply its intent or rather its application? Something to ponder isn’t it? My thought was that if you took a simple advertisement with verbiage, maybe a photo or illustration or two and some other elements and then took all those and only those elements and morphed them into a whole new thing, what makes one simply an ad and another art? It may still be too basic, but it’s a start and I’m glad to feel like I’m finally on a roll. More to come.

Gathering Work.

Meeting with a former professor at Eastern on Wednesday at 11:30am and so now I must gather my work. Andrew, my former professor, is sort of known for being a bit of an asshole Know-It-All who sort of has a lisp. So, I’m expecting the worst while hoping for the best if that makes sense at all. He’ll probably tear my work apart, and that’s sort of what I need, I want to be pushed. I want to show him that I’m in for the long haul, that I’m no quitter! 

He is of the mindset that I should not go to graduate school at my undergrad. Well, after evaluating the other programs, I think that as a mother of 2 who cannot count on being able to attend full time, that this is a best fit for me. Besides that, I graduated in 2003 and the staff has almost completely changed and who is he to tell me what I should do?

I get where he’s coming from, that it would give me a whole new perspective for my design work and yada yada yada, but what he needs to understand is I’ve done my research and this, Eastern, is what I think is best for myself and my family. I’m nervous yet again, but it’s good, keeps ya on yer toes ya. Now, I’m off to sort through and figure out just what to bring.

As I Ponder.

The more I think about it, the more I realize just how much work getting my MFA will be. Not to worry, nothing will stand in my way, but at least I have plenty of time to mentally and physically prepare for the adventure ahead. One good thing is the program is independently driven. I will make my schedule for the most part along with my graduate adviser aside from the “classes” I will be required to take. And, Stella will be entering first grade, full time. It just gives me more time during the morning and afternoon to make time for school. I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m ready. When I met with the departments graduate adviser, he told me he was glad that I was nervous, it showed that I had put thought into this whole idea. 

I. Have. So. Much. To. Do.

A New Journey Begins.

The time has come for life to change in a positive way. It is here that I will document what I believe to be a lifestyle shift in progress. I will be making a journey to discovering my greatest potential, or so I hope. I am heading back to school (hopefully) to get my MFA in Graphic Design. What this will mean is that I can teach in a four year university and that my potential for greater employment will increase, I believe, beyond my wildest dreams. This is something I’ve thought about before, but since starting my part time job at Schoolcraft, it just propelled me as being an actual option. I am designating this place as the following:

• To document a momentous occasion
• To have one central (digital) location with which to post things/ideas that will inspire my creativity
• To have something to show my children someday when they wonder why I had to spend so much time away
• To maybe get some feedback from other mothers in my position and on a similar journey
• And, why not?

Off I go.